The older I get, the more I love Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I love all things Christmas; but it’s also so easy to get caught up in the busyness of it too – pressure to do “all the things” and make it perfect. Thanksgiving is slow and simple. It’s about food, family, and counting our blessings. There is no rush to open gifts, and there aren’t weeks of preparation. Sure, there is a big meal to cook; but, it’s all about the meal, and sharing it with close family and friends.
However, despite this season of Thankfulness, I’ve been struggling a bit with my stay-at-home mom status. It’s been a little over a year. I love being home with my children. I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to do it; but, if I’m honest, some days it feels so ordinary and unimportant. It’s strange sometimes to feel so overwhelmed but also like I’m accomplishing nothing. Prior to my stay-at-home status, I had a job that I was good at. And, changing diapers, wiping noses, washing bottles, cleaning up the kitchen for the one millionth time, driving to and from school and doctor appointments leaves me feeling like I’m doing nothing, but at the same time I can’t keep up with it all. So I feel like I’m failing, and I used to be good at something. Sometimes when people ask me what I do, I’m tempted to add “but I have a Master’s degree and I worked with countries all over the world in my previous job!” And I feel like I should always be doing more/better – that my house should be cleaner, my meals should be better, that I should do more things because I’m just a stay-at-home mom.
And then, I am taken back 5 years ago. I had major surgery, and couldn’t eat solid food for weeks. Easton was six months old and I couldn’t hold him for six weeks after my surgery. Then, one Saturday I was finally able to eat real food again. We went to a restaurant. I could hold Easton again. I was so overcome with emotion and gratitude on that day for my family, for food, for the ordinary things. I felt God telling me “don’t forget this moment. This is what matters.” These ordinary things are what is important. This is why I chose to pursue a simpler, slower lifestyle; but, it’s not easy, and I need these reminders.
So, this Thanksgiving I am thankful for food and my family. I am thankful for Barrett’s fat cheeks and Easton’s imagination. I am grateful that I can pick Easton up from school, hear about his day, and watch him play outside in the afternoon. I am thankful that I can watch Barrett learn to clap his hands and see him smile with his whole face when I wake him up from his nap. I am thankful for the ordinary, because this is what matters. “This is holy work.”
Pinestraw Mountain 