My First Summer as a Stay-at-Home Mom

I survived my first summer as a stay-at-home mom. It wasn’t perfect, by any means. But, after those first few weeks I have to say it really was great, and the time flew by. I can’t believe Easton has already started kindergarten and Barrett will be starting Mother’s Day Out soon. When I look back, those decisions I made at the beginning of the summer really did turn our summer around for the better:

1. The gym membership. It saved me. It allowed Easton to play, Barrett to get used to other people; and it allowed me some time to just be me. I found a dance class that I absolutely love, met some other moms, and got my endorphins flowing on a regular basis, which kept me (mostly) sane.

2. The decision to stop breastfeeding. Breastfeeding Barrett was much easier than breastfeeding Easton. Second baby, I guess. I even conquered my fear of breastfeeding in public, which I did more than a few times (covered, of course. Let’s not get too crazy). But, when Barrett kept getting distracted while nursing I had to start pumping. And constantly pumping/feeding while taking care of a five-year-old and a baby was not going well. Switching to formula simplified life for us in a lot of ways and that made everyone happier. And, Barrett got breastmilk for about five months since I was able to freeze a lot and wean him off gradually (mixing with formula), so I feel good about that. And to all the moms who continue breastfeed/pump and have more than one child, you are my heroes!

3. Letting go of the “perfect summer” idea. We didn’t do as many cool activities as I’d initially envisioned. We went to the zoo a few times, but most days we went to the gym in the morning, and stayed home in the afternoons. We had play dates once or twice a week, always at our house (so Barrett could nap), and always involving a glass of wine (or two) for the moms. And other than working in Easton’s allergy shots, that was about it. Easton complained a lot at first that he wanted to “do something fun now” and constantly asked me to play with him. And I felt like I was always saying, “I can’t right now, I’m feeding your brother/putting away groceries/making your lunch.” I felt so guilty. But after a while, he started to understand, and I started to be ok with saying “no.” Also, it turned out that being a little bored was a good thing – he used his imagination more. He learned to appreciate his cousins coming over for play dates. And, yes, he watched plenty of TV too, and I learned to let that go as well. We are still figuring this out, and I’m still learning how to balance my time with both children, and making sure Easton learns that life is not all about him, but that he also feels nurtured and loved. It will never be perfect, but we are figuring it out together.

(Side note: if you need a super easy idea for a toddler/young child, try a popsicle bath. Literally, that’s all it is- give him a popsicle in the tub. It can calm down a whiny child, get him a bath early, contain the popsicle mess, and kids think it is the coolest thing ever. I can’t take credit- I got this from Busy Toddler on Instagram. https://instagram.com/busytoddler?igshid=13n587cep407v)

Popsicle baths and gym memberships aside, the most important lesson I learned this summer was how much I’m needed as a mom. I know, I should have realized this a long time ago; but, being home this summer has made me see things differently. Barrett has been very attached to me since birth, in a way that Easton never was as a baby. Seeing Barrett smile at me, feeling his little body relax when I comfort him, is just amazing to me. No one else has this effect on him but me. But then I started to watch Easton more closely. As we slowed down our pace this summer, I started to notice that he needed me too. I watched his face light up when I would agree to swing with him, and noticed that he couldn’t get close enough to me while we were reading a book. On more than one occasion he grabbed my hand out of the blue and said “I love you, Mom.” I realized God made me to be their mom. No one else can be their mom like I can because He made me for this. I’ve heard this before, and I thought I believed it. But, it took slowing down this summer to really feel it. In the past, I’ve been worried about doing everything “right” as a mom. Checking all the boxes. And, as a result, I’ve spent too much time just going through the motions. Sometimes, I’m ashamed to admit, I’ve even felt like someone else could do a better job than me. But it’s not true. I am so thankful for what this summer has taught me, and am looking forward to seeing a huge grin from my kindergartener in the carpool line today when he sees his mom.

To all the moms out there, cherish those sweet smiles and slobbery kisses. God made you to be the mom of your kids, and there is no one else like you.